On clinicals.

"But because truly being here is so much; because everything here
apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which in some strange way
keeps calling to us. Us, the most fleeting of all."
The Ninth Duino Elegy - Rainer Maria Rilke

They say Nursing is a calling. You have to be made for Nursing to love all the gory and unpleasant details that go along with it. I believe that. It's not for everybody. It was honestly the most grueling semester of Nursing school yet. I was on a constant state of stress, always worrying about the next exam or care plan, trying to rush from my clinical in DC to my part time job in Alexandria, and trying to get some chores done so our house didn't look too neglected.

But despite all that, it was a rewarding semester. It was my first semester of clinical and my first time interacting with real patients. It felt as though my experiences in the clinical setting was a reaffirmation of God's will for me to be a nurse one day. I was truly terrified my first day. I couldn't even go into my patient's room and introduce myself, let alone think about giving my male patient a bed bath or giving him formula through his feeding tube.

But as I saw my patient, I immediately felt compassion. He was very sick with pneumonia, could hardly talk because of his previous stroke, and could not move because the right side of his body was paralyzed. He truly was helpless. All I wanted to do was make him feel more comfortable if only for the few hours that I get to take care of him. It didn't even matter what that comfort entailed.